I am slowly realizing that I’m going to walk away from this ministry that I’ve been involved in for my whole college career, in a fairly short time. My time in college has been the most that I’ve grown in my walk with Christ, by far. I’ve been sought after, poured into, and encouraged by Lindsey Williamson. I have learned from godly men and women throughout my time in the ministry and been pushed to know my Savior in ways I can’t even explain.
After a weekend of feeling shepherded by a few of the staff members, I can’t help but begin to feel a small bit of loss as I look to the future. I’m not walking away tomorrow, but at the same time my time with this ministry is drawing to an end and it will soon be time for me to move on. A common saying around my group of friends is that we need to have a “privilege mentality.” I’ve nodded my head and murmured verbal agreements whenever someone has said this…but after this weekend, I’m truly understanding how much I didn’t deserve to have any of this in my college career.
This retreat was one for Summer Training Project (used to be Summer Beach Project), for this coming summer. I’m excited to prepare for this project more in the upcoming months. I guess I don’t really have much else to say. I’m just feeling grateful tonight and needed to tell someone about it.
Made myself eggs and toast this morning. Usually when ordering eggs at a restaurant, I automatically go for scrambled. I used to think it was because I like them this way best. Well, this morning I realized that I’ve never had them another way. So, I went on a limb and made myself eggs, sunny side-up style.
What was the consensus?
Brilliant.
I’m finding myself to be a more difficult person than I previously realized. This may be funny to some of you…that it’s taken me this long to realize this. You’re probably like…”Really Kels…really? You’re just seeing this?” Unfortunately, yes. I’m guessing that very few of you are surprised.
What do I mean by difficult?
I mean that I am a hard person to get a long with. I make others lives difficult by being friends with me. I’m not easy to please. I tear down on people in whatever way I can (I do this all under the cover of humor, of course). I’m easily irritable.
I’m not as loving as I’d like to think I am.
I know there’s grace and hope for me…even in my unruly personality. But right now the light’s looking pretty dim. I think it’s okay to allow myself one night of introspection/conviction before I let the hope over take me. I’m too quick to let myself off the hook sometimes. So for this night, I will look to my habits of not loving others at all and not be happy about it. I wish myself to be loving.
I promise you that I haven’t deliberately ignored my blog. It’s just…well, you know how it goes. On a long list of things to get done…blogging gets put onto the bottom. I’m going to try harder though. So as I said 2010 is a year of forgiveness and thus, I ask you to give me a break. I hope to do a better job of updating this this year.
As of right now, I am back at school to start my spring semester. This will be my 2nd semester in the nursing program. I’m nervous. I just got done writing in all the assignments of ONE class into my planner…if I thought I was busy last semester…ya, not even close.
Just got off of spending the month home with my parents. Never eaten out so much in my life. Thanks mom and dad for the 15 lbs of extra weight…I’ll think of you every day as I’m working out. 
All jokes aside, this was probably one of the most relaxing months of my life. Nothing like living off your parents income, while you sit on the couch for 8-16 hours at a time…contributing nothing. Thanks for allowing me the breather while I was home. I already miss you. and Samm. and Izzy.
Welp, this was just a quick hello. Hope to type again soon. Maybe some interesting stuff will actually happen this semester.
Well, it has been a WHILE! Sorry, it’s been super crazy. Can’t give an update right now, but here is a part from a book that I’m reading right now that I thought you all would find encouraging. I guess this is more to the women.
“Do you realize? You don’t need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved and valued. You’re good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it’s true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.
You are worth dying for.
Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make. Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man. Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you. You have inestimable worth that comes from your Creator.
You will continue to be tempted in a thousand different ways not to believe this. The temptation will be to go searching for your worth and validity from places other than your creator.
Especially from men.
But you don’t have to give yourself away to earn a man’s love. You’re better than that. You’re already loved.
Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with the honor and dignity that are yours, it forces the men around you to relate to you on more than just a flesh level.
You are worth dying for.
When you live in your true identity, when you find your worth and value in your creator, when you live “in Christ,” in who you really are, you force him to rethink what it means to be a man.”
1.) My first day of clinical is tomorrow. FREAK OUT! Downside: I have to leave at 6am for this sucker; which means I will be waking up at 5:15am. yuck.
2.) I am becoming a member at Bethlehem Baptist Church. I’m excited to make a commitment to this body of believers.
3.) We are having an ANTI-Gadkin party in our room this Saturday and watching The Proposal! Go HERE to find out details about what Gadkin is. We are supposedly celebrating our singleness…I think we’re just sulking in it. ha!
4.) I get to take ANOTHER Pharmacology exam. Lucky me!
5.) We are having our 2nd Campus Outreach Wednesday (COW) meeting for Bethel tomorrow at 9pm. Colby is talking on “The Difficult Sayings of Jesus.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy8hOOvM0t0&feature=related
Dick Hoyt runs marathons for his son.
Our Father killed his Son in order that we may be with him.
How much more God the Father loves us.
I feel like the majority of blogs that I read are centered around…well, us and our inconsistencies. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are a few books in the Bible specifically devoted to this topic (Lamentations, Most of Psalms, etc.). However, by spending so much time on our “inconsistency,” our “emptiness,” “our lack of feeling God,” etc..are we neglecting to talk about how great God is?
I know that it’s good to focus on our sin because this should increase our picture of Jesus. However, by turning inward so much, are we missing out on the opportunity to glorify God in everything we do?
Are we making war or just thinking about our need to make war against our sin?
Are we bringing glory to God or just thinking about bringing Him glory?
It’s not time to be immobilized.
Psalm 106:8, “Nevertheless He saved them for the sake of His name, That He might make His power known.”
I don’t have much time to put up a post, but it’s been too long. So I’m going to let some pics do the talking. Here are some random snapshots of the “little” social life that I do have:
-
- Group Date with some southern boys.
-
- My Bro & I at school again.
-
- Chick Nites= Fondu
-
- CO Chick Night!
-
- Being a nurse to my roommate…popping a blood blister. :)
-
- Tia & I at Axel’s Bonfire for Susie’s Bday Dinner
-
- Axel’s Bonfire for Susie’s Bday Celebration
-
- A night with my nursing buds. I love these girls.
-
- Halloween: Our costumes or lack thereof.
1.) I just saw a featured blog on my WordPress homepage that was titled, “I’m not blogging about politics, I’m blogging about boobs.” All I’m gonna say is….maybe she should think about blogging about politics.
2.) Jesus raising people from the dead is symbolic to him making our hearts alive when we were dead in our sins -Luke 8:50-55 I was the girl that he took by the hand and said, “Child, arise.” awesome.
3.) Apparently, it’s been claimed that Bethel girls are hotter than Northwestern girls. I’m not sayin’…but I’m just sayin’.
4.) I found out that if I tell my parents that I was going to be flying in from MN and visit them for a hour-hour then fly back…I would bring them more joy than I have over the past 21 years of my life.
5.) No matter how much time I put into nursing, I still have a ton more to do.
6.) Most of my high school friends put their hope in unsatisfying things. Makes me sad.
7.) I’ve learned a ton about integrating my Christian faith into nursing. Very thankful for this.
8.) I look completely different than my first year here at Bethel. Apparantely, it’s a pretty big deal.
9.) Kids still think it’s funny to spray a whole can of Axe on their friends while in public places. Unfortunately, the rest of us innocent bystanders have to suffer from hyperventilation or just getting high…
10.) College students get fatter because they don’t sleep.
